A selfish nature belies an inconsequential man

Your yard isn't worth the excretions that were generously donated to it by those kind-hearted creatures and your accusations are not worth the embitterment you intend to impose upon me. I shall not take offense at your hastily defined criticism but rather "rise above" as they say. The destruction of your yard can only be considered a good thing by those who know you. Only, it is a shame of great magnitude that the detruction was not so complete as to include your dwelling place and one would hope your very self as well. Alas, dreams can come true and I anticipate as copiously today as always your unconditional destruction. Amen and amen.

I know that they are yours, so don't even try to deny it. You thought that I wouldnt notice I guess. But I did. And now you have a huge mess to clean up in my yard! I am sure that you thought it was funny to release all those damned cats in my yard. Maybe you thought that it would be a "cute" joke. But now because of you my yard is covered in oddly colored feces. The smell is horrible (like an old ladys house). So here is what I say to you. Come clean my yard or I am going to set loose a pack of pigions in your yard. Then we'll see what is what. And maybe next time you have a problem with the way that I live my life you can be less of a coward and come talk to me!!!